I wrote this last night for my main blog (Zion Calling) and Promise said to post it here. So, here it is:
I’m sixteen. I’m a senior in high school.
Most of the people in my grade or age group are deciding on majors and applying to colleges and getting their driver’s license and buying their first car and getting part-time jobs and navigating their first or second (or third…or fourth) romantic relationship.
Me?
I’m thinking about adoption.
I’m sixteen years old and I’m thinking about the fact that my future child(ren) could be born in a country on the other side of the world and be brought into my family by a court decision rather than a biological birth.
Crazy, right?
Here’s my story as it stands thus far:
I’m in twelfth grade, looking at going into music therapy and hoping beyond hope to go to a college close to home that has a music therapy program (there’s only one). I’ve never 1) driven a car, 2) been in a relationship, 3) gotten (or applied for) a job, 4) talked to my parents about (TALKED TO THEM, let alone investigated or applied to) college.
But I am a dreamer. Ever since I can remember, I’ve wanted to be a mom. I have ten infamous and imaginary children whom I rename every two weeks or so (my current favorite names are Joseph and Margaret).
In mid-October last fall (2016), I just started…thinking. All of those thoughts lead me to read a blog post about adoption. And then another one. And then another. And another. And pretty soon, I thought, This sounds really cool.
It kind of freaked me out about a week later, when I was at camp. We were sitting across from the camp pastor when he turned to one of the counselors and said, “Well, we’re in the process of adopting another child from China!” Turns out, he and his wife had one or two biological kids, and then had adopted a little boy from China. Apparently now they’re adopting another one. 
I just kept reading, researching, praying. . . . and praying some more. In December, I found out I may be infertile for a number of reasons. Under any other circumstances, I would have bawled my eyes out at the prospect that I would never be a mom. But GUYS!!! God was PREPARING me!!!
I’ve kept researching and praying, and finally I told two of my friends, who, coincidentally, were adopted. 
They loved it, and said they would support me. . . .
They loved it, and said they would support me. . . .
So here I am, in February of 2017, thinking about adoption. Oh, but souls, so much has to happen before then. I’m going to college, I’m hoping to get married someday — to a man who feels this way as much as I do — and then. . . maybe then.
Of course, we all know life is going to be hectic and crazy and I probably won’t feel ready when He says it’s time, but I am almost positive it will happen someday.
You know what else is crazy?!?! On Saturday, I was out with some friends. They surprised us by announcing that their family is going to adopt a little girl from Colombia! Then, I stumbled upon another adoption story of a family I recently met. Another baby boy from China found his way into their hearts.
I’m sixteen years old.
On adoption blogs, in stories, in the Christian adoptive community, you hear about the “call to adopt”.
And honestly, that’s what it feels like. There’s this little whisper in the back of my heart that tells me it’s going to be INCREDIBLY hard, it’s going to be scary, unsure, and I’ll have to let go of my plans. I will grieve, for my child and for all that he’s leaving behind.
But I also know that when that hard road is over — and in the midst of it — I’m going to find the love and light of God. A raw love. A beautiful, rugged, raw, unedited love. I’m going to have to learn to accept God’s plans as higher and better than my own. I’m going to have to learn to trust Him.
Guys, I know — or at least I think — this journey is ten years down the road, maybe. And here I am, so happy to start it someday. Someday, when the Lord says the time is right.
When will that be? I don’t know. No one does. Only God knows for sure.
But He and I — and, I assume, my husband — will walk that road together when the time comes. For now, I will wait. I will do all the research I possibly can. And I will pray with all of my heart for the orphans and for the child I’ll meet and mother someday.
Until then . . . . . . Goodnight, my friends.
Love, Grace
