I'm Not Perfect -- Grace

I have a confession to make.

I'm a sinner.

I mean, we all are.  But there are some things I did right up until yesterday that made me...well, pretty wicked.  And there I was, vacuuming, and the song Slow Fade by Casting Crowns "randomly" came on the radio.

I struggled with a secret for probably about a year.  No one, and I do mean literally no one, knew about this.  Even Promise -- who knows all and sees all -- didn't know....I doubt she ever even guessed.

This sin of mine, as deep and dark as I knew it was, had ahold of me.  I was stuck for months in the vicious cycle of repent, fall, repent, fall...repent....and slip and fall even further.

And Slow Fade came on the radio.  The more I heard, I realized something.  Maybe it was the Spirit witnessing to me, or maybe it was my thinking, but the thought occurred... "If you continue down the path you are in, you will lose yourself."

"You will lose yourself."

So...last night I confessed to someone.  I told her almost everything.  And then I confessed to God.  I told Him that because of this sin I felt like I had lost my innocence.  And, tears streaming down my cheeks for the things I'd lost and the irreparable scars I'd gained, I sobbed, "O, Father, forgive me..."

I can't explain how nasty I felt for what I'd done.

And then, there it was...in my mind's eye.  A field, filled with beautiful flowers...and a Man in a white robe standing there.  A little girl, bawling, was running towards Him...and His arms were outstretched.  She reached Him and He caught her up in His arms as she cried into His robe...and He comforted her.

I don't know if it was the Spirit, or my imagination.  Maybe it was a little bit of both.  But that was exactly the picture I needed to see.  I know that no matter what you've done, He still holds His arms wide open to you.

You just have to come as a little child.