Hey, ya'll! So, as many of you know, I went to visit Kirtland, Ohio, a little over a week ago. We were gone from the 8th to the 10th. I had an amazing time laughing with friends, talking, and just being with each other. But the thing that I took away the most was the testimonies I had while I was there. I've never actually written this down, these testimonies, so I'm glad for the chance to...and if I can share them with the world...well, why not?
Friday morning, on the 8th, we climbed on the bus at 5:30am and were heading out by 6:00 (no, you don't want to know what time I woke up.......). I knew I would be fine; I
never get carsick. I actually had never been carsick in my life up to that point.
Let's just say, there's literally a different viewpoint on a humongous tour bus, and just thinking about it gets my stomach churning.
Not only that, but we had ham sandwiches on the bus...with cheese on them. For some reason, I'm fine with bacon, but ham turns my stomach. Also, I'm lactose intolerant. Let's just say, it wasn't a good combination...
By the time we reached Saint Louis, Missouri (about four hours away), my stomach was in an uproar. The skin on my hands had turned white from being so dry. I had to press on, though, I told myself. After all, it wasn't the first time....
You see, for about a year now, I've been dealing with what is probably hypothyroidism. My symptoms got continually worse for the past few weeks. My stomach was upset every day, I was exhausted -- I'm telling you, when you've got hypothyroidism, sleep does
nothing for you. You're blessed if you can maintain the same level of exhaustion -- and my skin was super dry. There were other things too. Emotionally, I just felt icky. I was constantly discouraged, sad, touchy, angry, forgetful, confused, and any other kind of icky emotion...even ones that didn't have words to describe them...just,
icky.
By lunchtime that day, I finally told one of my friends, because I was about to throw up. She gave me Tums and motion sickness medicine, and I fell right asleep through Indiana. I
adore that friend. :)
I had a really soft blanket on my lap, and when I pulled my hand out from under it, my skin was covered in blood. That's how dry my hands were.
We finally got to our hotel, and I moved in with my roommates. They were great! We had a lot of fun, and every time I see them at church now, I greet them with hugs. They really are like my adopted mom and sister! :)
The next day, Saturday, dawned bright and early. It was 5:30 here in Missouri -- but getting up at 4:15 the day before made it seem like nothing. We soon got started on our day, and there were lots of humorous little stories.
By lunchtime, I crashed. I
could not continue any further. I was done. So I rested and continued going on tours. But I
knew...I had to ask for administration.
In case you've never heard of it, administration is when two elders come to you. You sit in a chair while they anoint your head with consecrated oil, and then they pray over you. The Bible says in James, "Are there any sick among you? Call for the elders of the church..." I'd been administered to before, and I knew that God could pour out a blessing on me, if He willed it.
That night, we had a special service in the Kirtland Temple (it's a major part of our Church History, and we love it!). I was asked to say a prayer in the prayer service, so I did. When I prayed, I asked for strength. I was supposed to be praying for our people as we looked to the future, but I began to pour my heart out to God and asked Him for the strength to continue doing His Work. When I sat back down, I was weeping, and I just remember whispering, "My soul longs for strength..." I have never wanted anything so badly before, and my heart was broken.
Then, we were told to go off by ourselves and study and pray. I did. While I was praying by myself, asking for strength, I decided to read Psalms 139 -- one I had never read before. The verses were meant for me. That's all I can say. There it was in black and white -- God loved me. I didn't necessarily feel it, but I knew it. It was only after that that I was able to say, "Lord, if You want to heal me, I'll take it...and, if You don't...I'll take that too." I knew that our trials are meant to refine us, and I was pretty sure my refining was not over yet.
Through the next service, I was given assurance by the Holy Spirit that I would have strength to do His Will, so long as I was working for God. I clung to that knowledge like nothing I have ever clung to before.
The next morning, I got up my nerve and asked for administration. The elders were kind and, of course, agreed. We set up a time and went to go have communion in the Temple. While we were having our service, I asked for forgiveness for some sins I've committed.
We got back to the hotel, and the elders called me for administration. I went to their room, and the two of them had a chair set out for me. I sat down, and they asked me why I was wanting a blessing. I told them about my physical problems...
The first elder put the consecrated oil on my head, then placed his hands on my head. He started to pray. In that prayer, he asked that I would feel God's love for me.
I
know Jesus loves me. I
know He died for me. I've felt those things before. But to know that God, the One who designed and created and made and loves the
entire universe, loves
me????
I knew it then. I am such a small, insignificant creature compared to this vast, marvelous world, and yet...God loves me so much. He loves you, too.
And then it came. I knew I was sitting in a hotel room, with the elders' hands on my head, but I was kneeling. The two elders were kneeling beside me, and we were bowing down at the base of a very large, magnificent, beautiful Throne.
Let me tell you something. There are seven billion people in this world, most if not all going through their own problems, trials, heartaches, afflictions, and strife. All of them need a place to seek a blessing at the foot of the Father's Throne. All of them need a place of refuge, a place of hope. And in that moment,
I was the one privileged to kneel there. And I did find those things there -- blessing, refuge, and hope.
It only lasted a fraction of a second, but that scene is eternal. I looked up, then, and....there was a hand. It reached out, and it touched my shoulder.
I was healed.
I have never felt icky, disgusting, sad, hurt, or had the pain again.
Do you need a blessing? Kneel at the Father's Throne. He created you, after all -- He loves you more than life itself.
~ Grace
